My Mom's - "Momisms"

Rease started her morning with a wailing meltdown. Out of the plethora of girls that I have, maybe, just maybe, only one doesn't wail. I am not saying that to be mean. It's just the way they are - it's in their blood. It's their way of coping, I guess. But to be honest - it does ride my nerves. My last nerve to be exact.

Listening to her made me think of a phrase my mom used to use, which in turn led to other "momisms" she would throw out at us on occasion. I would like to just share a few now and then for your enlightenment! :)

1. ."You sound like a dying calf in a hail storm." My mom would say this to us when we cried or "wailed". Not that I know what a dying calf in a hail storm sounds like, but it made me stop and think - and usually stop crying.




2. "You sound like a cow chewing her cud." We would hear this analogy whenever we "forgot" our table manners and chewed in a unacceptable way. Here again - what exactly does a cow chewing her cud sound like? Hm? I can picture it in my mind - but I can honestly say I've never gotten close enough to a cow to hear her chew!




3. "Lead foot." I am supposing when we walked heavy or stomped around it drove my mom crazy. She would call us lead foot. Imagine the images I conjured up about this one!




4. "Alright, Caroline Reedy." We heard this often as children. I've written the story about this lady. Apparently she wore her shoes on the wrong feet and put her clothes on backwards or inside-out. Whenever we goofed up in the clothing department we got that nice little comparison. Understand now why I am intrigued by this unknown woman. She must have been quite the "talk of the town" in her oddities. I think I like her

This is only a smidgen of her "momisms". I can't think when I'm put under pressure, but I wanted to share a little - thanks to Rease and her wailing. I'm thinking more will pop into my head as time goes on - I just have to remember to write them down!

I'm pretty sure these blunt euphemisms must have been common in her home. Where else could one come up with such . . . . "comparisons"?

Oh - and I can't forget this! It's not really a comparison, but more like an improvisation, if you will. When we were a family of five - before Tiger - dinner time always presented a problem for us kids. Our table only had four chairs - which is common. Two adults, three, children, four chairs. Hm. . . . . . Naturally, mom and dad got a chair each. 4-2=2. Three children, two chairs. 3-2=1. One child leftover. Hm. . . . . one child had to stand. Who would it be? Whomever got there last! So, the wailing would start. "Where can I sit? I don't have a chair!" would be the complaint. My mom, being the wise woman that she was and full of "momisms" usually gave the same answer to the "stander". "Sit on your fist, and lean back on your thumb." With that said, the stander took a few minutes to evaluate the situation and ate dinner in the standing position. Imagine if you will, the picture that ran thru my head! We only had to be called once to the table. Sometimes we waited in the "wings" for dinner to be served. Not because we were starving, but because we DID NOT want to "sit on our fist and lean back on our thumb"! ! And we didn't want to stand, either.